Friendship, Sex, and Love Description and ToC

The publication date of Friendship, Sex, and Love—the third book in the Being and Life Series—has not yet been decided, but information is included here to give readers of Being and Life a sense of the full range that ontological emotions and ideas encompass.

The more men and women become their realselves and understand realself ontology, the more they realize that a lot is going on ontologically between people, and much more is going on between lovers. The best and the worst qualities in everyone are ontological, and the same goes for the relationships between people. The very best that can exist between two people is ontologically motivated and the very worst that can exist between two people is also motivated by their realselves. Friendship, Sex, and Love examines the wide range of ontological feelings and thoughts that exist between people, from strangers who are being mostly their socialselves with each other to couples who have removed almost all of their ego boundaries with each other and are, therefore, close to having a full realself-to-realself relationship.

Chapter 1: Sex Is a Realself Event
  Sex Is a Realself Event
  Socialself Sex
  Freud: “It Strikes Me as Extremely Bold . . .”
  Realself-to-Realself Sex Is Best
  Sex Is Ontological Communication
  The Ego Boundary as Sexual Boundary
  Sex Is a Striving for Realself Being
  Sex’s Zest Comes From Its Realself-to-Realself Intimacy
  Sex’s Realself-to-Realself Intimacy Makes It Holy

Chapter 2: Realself-to-Realself Attraction
  Seeing the Realself in Someone
  Relating on a Beginning Realself-to-Realself Level
  An Ontological and Not a Sexual Attraction
  An Ontological Attraction: Mark Twain’s Mother

Chapter 3: Realself-to-Realself Friendships
  Once Aware of the Realself, a Person Wants Realself-to-Realself Friendships
  Realself-to-Realself Friendship
  “Deep, Serious Affection”
  Pets
  Silent Friends
  Loving and Hating “the ‘People’”
  Realself-to-Realself Friendship Attempts and Failures
  Realself-to-Realself Relationships Seem Sexual

Chapter 4: Increasing Realself Pain
  Beingless Socialself Relationships
  Increasing Realself Pain
  Why It Is Hard to Say “I Love You.”

Chapter 5: Ontological and Sexual Tensions
  Ontological Tension, Excitement, and Relief
  Being “Over One’s Head”   Stuttering
  Men and Women
  “Sex Is ‘Only Chemical’ or ‘Only Biological.’”
  Lying
  Youths, the Realself, and Maturity
  “Tongue-tied, Stupid, Motionless, Unamiable”
  Mr. Lockwood and Darcy
  The Blind Girl, Jean
  Becoming a Sexual Realself Person
  What One Wants Most, One Fears Most

Chapter 6: Inside the Ego Boundary
  Letting Someone Inside One’s Ego Boundary
  Complete Identification
  Penetration
  Whores and Madonnas

Chapter 7: Socialself and Realself Ideas About Sex
  Opposing Views
  “Sex Is Bad.”   Casual Sex
  Public Affection
  Premarital Sex
  “Women Should Be Subordinate.”
  Commitment and Compromise
  “Fusion Is Impossible.”

Chapter 8: Jealousy
  Jealousy: Caused by the Ontological, Not the Sexual
  Fathers and Daughters
  Virginity
  Infidelity
  Not Jealous If, and If Not, Realself-to-Realself Involvement

Chapter 9: Outside the Ego Boundary
Moving Someone Outside One’s Ego Boundary
Castration

Chapter 10: Socialself People Alienating Increasing Realself People
  “She Became ‘Disguised, Unrecognizable.’”
  “She Was an ‘It.’”
  Cold and Ice
  Lost Travelers

Chapter 11: When Women Are Raped
  Two Women
  The Lining of the Vagina
  Rape and Husbands

Chapter 12: Moving Toward Ontological Fusion
  The Layers of Clothing and the Layers of the Ego Boundary
  Nudity
  Realself Being and Sex
  The Realselfness of Fusion Makes It Sexy
  Women Like to Bring Men Inside Their Ego Boundaries

Chapter 13: Orgasms
  “Orgasms Are the Answer.”
  Orgasms Equal Realself Being
  The More a Person Is His Realself, the Better His Orgasms
  Losing One’s Self During Orgasms

Chapter 14: Fusion
  “Earthly Lovers . . . Wish to Blend Their Beings with Each Other.”
  Love and Sex Should Be Between Ontological Equals
  Male-to-Female Relationships Should Be Realself to Realself
  Everyone Needs Realself-to-Realself Involvement
  Ontological Hunger
  Wanting to Get Out of and Into Ego Boundaries
  Removing All Ego Boundaries
  The Two Halves of a Whole
  Fusion: It Is Not a Returning To the Womb
  Like Someone: Tell the Good About Oneself; Love Someone: Tell the Bad

Chapter 16: Ontological and Sexual Declines
  Ontological Compatibility and Incompatibility
  “I Have Lost All Desire for Intense or Intimate Friendship.”
  Sex and Marriage Should Increase One’s Degree of Being
  Realself to Realself Changes to Socialself to Socialself
  “Here I Am . . .”
  “I Stop Here.”
  Mr. and Mrs. D. H. Lawrence
  Imprisoned in One’s Spouse’s Ontological State
  Socialself-to-Socialself and Ego Boundary-to-Ego Boundary Sex
  Ontological and Sexual Feelings Parallel Each Other
  Boring Sex
  Young Increasing Realself Women and Older Socialself Women

Chapter 17: Divorce and Death
  Decrease One’s Degree of Being or Leave
  The Benefits of Divorce
  The Closing of One’s Ego Boundary

Chapter 18: Bypassing the Ego Boundary
  “I’m Coming in No Matter What You Feel.”
  Ontological and Sexual Fantasies
  Rape Fantasies and One Reason Men Rape

Chapter 19: Sex and the Dark Unconscious
  “Sex Is Dirty.”
  Increasing Realself Anger
  Men Against Women
  Masochism and Sadism
  Socialself Deceptions and Realself Answers

Friendship, Sex, and Love

Description and Table of Contents